“It was in my mouth the whole time”

Ever miss something right before your very eyes?  Today, while I put away the ingredients to the sandwich I’d just made, I looked for the missing twist-tie to my bag of bread. “How’d I lose that thing?,” I wondered while I washed a dish or two. Then I felt something held in my teeth and laughed at myself in the moment of discovery, “there it is.”  Hah.. I tend to move fast in chores.

Q:  What else is in my grasp that I can’t see?   A:  The answers to my own questions, if seen and grasped positively, honestly.

We know we humans are creatures of habit and habits hide questions.  We see what what we want to see, hear what we want to hear.  My funny myopia at my sink is an example of looking through my habit to the counter for the twist-tie.  Not!  It wasn’t there; it was even closer.

But habits do what is commonplace to us.   They manage our environment and life duties in familiar ways.  We also know from the world of science that the act of observing changes the object seen, so facts depends greatly on our tools and ability to focus.  And where is this more true – hah – than when we look at ourselves, in our consummate trait of self-reflection?  Objectivity may then be very difficult.   If we judge a matter of major significance, as in divorce or a new job or a move to another home – making a new commitment of any kind – we’re likely to go slow and cautiously.  Personal or “executive” change is when we speculate, reflect, puzzle, confuse, fear, fall back on tried beliefs, feel our way, and otherwise patch together a way to make important choices about our goals.  To “get it right” often includes professional support, technical and experienced.  Otherwise we may see some tasks or goals as impossible and stay in the status quo.

What of coaching then?

Coaching, in my book, supposes your wisdom.  {see my blog post The Wisdom Gene}  Wisdom is innate within us, in our distilled traditions, and in our evolution collectively as a conscious species. But you have to know both how and where to look for it, right?   Modern certified coaching makes use of special training tools and lots of positive psychology.  Coaching supposes that wisdom holds creativity, yours.  But like my twist-tie, I can’t use it till I find it!  Hah!  I must awake to its presence (and location…lol) and bring a commitment to it, to myself.  Creativity is within each of us; it’s what always pulls us forward, like the force of gravity {or is it grace?  or both?}  Accessing your best creative problem-solving is a matter of focus, practice, and knowing which questions or tools will bring answers out of our questions, separating the gold from the dirt as it were, as we go about our “panning.”

Wisdom brings confidence and competence together in the first steps of the change you want, the project that needs a beginning.  I  help people do what they think is impossible.  Together we discover and articulate your true purpose in your most pressing concern{the one “in your teeth”}, find out what’s blocking you, get those blocks out of the way,  make a plan, and get you there!

“In my teeth” questions might include: What’s the one part of a relationship I want to make better? What do I do about the one part of my work that’s so unrewarding? Is it time for me to divorce (from a spouse, a job, a purpose)? What can I do about that certain emotional trigger that keeps setting me off? How do I begin the dream project I can’t seem to get started? How do I ask for the raise I think I deserve? How do I nurture my child with whom it is so hard to connect? How can I learn to meditate that works for me? What does my body say to me about my food and diet? What image of myself as a man or a woman seems out of sync, no longer helpful, is misusing my power? What are my choices choosing, really? What do I really want? What wants to shift in my life? {see my post “Big Picture” }.

What’s in your teeth?  What goals there are begging for attention?  Is there an opportunity to improve something, there so close?    How can your reflections conclude in new purpose(s) that make a difference?   How could a real transformation happen to you as it has for me?


Here’s to the opportunities stuck in our teeth! Cheers!


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