I coach based on these bases of human psychological dynamics that are called Nature/Nurture/Choice, “N/N/C” for short.
“N is for “Nurture.”​  It is the personal soul and social family system conditioning of your brain/body software consciousness by your primary care-givers to about age ten.  Nurture creates embedded self-image, beliefs, language of origin, values, pathologies, and stereotypes.
“N” is also for “Nature.”  It is the as-yet-not-completely specified but very real genetic/molecular state of your ‘hardware’ or ‘hard-wiring’ that you inherit at conception from your male and female parents.  It is the genome that makes up You, your body/mind consciousness, your living wholeness.  Nature creates perceived measurable forms of humans, from ‘normal/whole/healthy’ in us collectively, and seen in any individual also, on a broad continuum or spectrum, to what is measured to be ‘deviation from the mean,’ ‘diseased,’ to ‘aberrant’ to ‘defective’ to ‘challenged’
 C is for “Choice.” It is now in your present, the quotidian multitude of ways you may respond to your “N/N” in order to manage, control, or ‘let go of’ their effects on your character, nature, and personality. These are the Triune dimensions of you, your soul, your identity as you see it or not, and mine.
“N/N/C.”   There are my three, your three, in simple 20th century psychological terms.  In a complex unity these three are ‘tied together’ as it were, by our 24/7 sub and aware conscious-ness.   Together as a unity they have profound effect on our sleeping and waking lives, every day and over the long haul.  We each are always this ‘3ness’ although we see ourselves as “I/You/Me.”
That is until some significant serious issue seeks to shift us, change us, demand a decision[a Choice] from us.  Some event forces us into a deeper awareness or clarity.  We see and feel the question, “who’s in charge here?”  The new awareness asks us to stop what isn’t working, to reflect or contemplate, or pray and meditate, in order to effect a meaningful change.  Then we may intuit or want to break down these Three Parts in their dynamic everyday mix.  A new necessity demands that we work with them to make a shift occur.  Wisely we can colloborate or or “what we resist persists,” often to our dismay, ‘”doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
This is when, in crisis mild to wild, a therapist, counselor or life coach may be a wise resource for you to access.  Hesitate not.   You CAN be strong but weak! .. and vice versa.. both!.. in a beautiful balance found in and among these three principles!  YES!  You can be You without having to figure out these mysteries.  It can be difficult.  Sooooo…    Get them to work for you, not against you.
For example, beliefs can change, be discovered as no longer useful, discarded, and replaced, consciously, by your own choosing, perhaps with clear guidance by an insightful one, another person supporting you.  All that is needed is a fresh perspective and a willingness to act, to take charge, or let go, as the case may be.  It is up to you.
I act as if all your Answers are already within you, indeed within the very Questions you ask.  That’s my belief as a spiritual person AND as my training as a Life Coach.  The Questions need airing, listening, challenging, acknowledgement, affirmation, applause, acceptance.. and more.  That is what a trained Coach is for, FOR YOU!  Viola’!
Chas, CPC