A short answer is, it’s like losing a lot of weight. You literally change your shape, the shape of “you,” the “form” of you. A definite “before” and “after” picture or scenario comes to light.
In the changing of your shape on the outside you discover how much better you feel on the inside. It’s the physical change that is important for sure. That was the goal. But what’s more empowering and more gratifying is the fact you have undeniably confirmed – “I can do this because I did do this.” You are an empowered person, standing tall. “Look at me” is most rewarding when you say it about yourself when you’ve reached a real goal. What’s more enervating than a new fact in which you’ve proved your self-determination and capability to do yourself good. You’ve proved that you cannot only welcome change, you can embrace it. That experience is life-changing especially when it’s from the inside out, how good coaching works.
That’s why I use the word, “self-transformation.” The word is right because it connotes a big accomplishment, a personal big one that no one can deny. It is visible and palpable.
I have a close friend who went to a lot of work to lose thirty pounds over a six month period of rigorous diet and exercise and close support by a supportive friend. (I think some prayers for continued inspiration were included too. We can all use help from our “Trusted Source,” as I call it, our higher power.) I owe my friend a dinner to celebrate her new “look.” But I am acknowledging not what she did so much as how she did it. She took charge and immersed herself in the process. Her goals were better health, improved self image, a happier disposition, greater fluidity and ease of motion, and more confidence in her personal and professional life. She achieved all these and more. Transformation is about the shift of perspective that comes from new behavior. It is not about will power as much as it is about seeing in a new way, changes in “form” that occur because of a change in mind. How one does that consciously is the positive psychology in coaching.
Self-transformation often occurs because we’re sick and tired of something. Often pain is the catalyst for us to put down our foot and say, “Enough is enough,” or “I deserve better!” Or we’ve felt stuck in some less-than-satisfactory place for too long. “Something has to give,” is the common beginning of self-transformation. But how to put a new frame on a old picture is the question. That new perspective shift is a big part of what a coach does.
The fact is self-transformation is not easy. Real change can be exceedingly difficult. Habits ARE called habits for a reason. It is very rarely accomplished all by one’s self alone. Smart people know asking for help and support is often the key. Change certainly does not have to be grueling, brutal, haphazard, humorless or more-pain-than-its-worth. That’s how lethargy or inertia thinks. Very few “wins” in life are accomplished in the “couch-seated” position. Transformation takes action.
What I respect is the cutting edge of life that does consistently call us to change, to realize life is all about change. Some call this process evolution. It’s happening all around you all the time. Might as well join in.
Every day we have a choice. Change can happen to us by default and not necessarily be what we want. Or we can initiate change and direct it towards what we do want. This adaptability is, I think, one of the best things about human nature. It’s what I am trained and passionate to access and work with as I serve people as a coach. It’s fun to bring out the best in folks who put themselves in charge of their lives, from new habits and new careers, to new relationships. Life Coaching can be a positively fun, creative and powerful way to achieve ones most imminent, important and valuable goals.
“Transformation” means “I did it!” You can too. What do you want to transform? What perspective in you wants to, is begging for, a shift?