It’s been quite a while. I’m back — to write. To answer the question: how does one tell a story revisited, backwards. I might have chronologed this passage through its course day by day or week by week, as many others have.
I’m ten weeks out from the end of “C/R.” Chemotherapy and radiation therapy. Cysplatin and 200 therms of x-ray heat 30 times at 7 minutes and 10 second per treatment. Six weeks times five days a weeks equals thirty R treaments. The Chemo is once a week over six weeks for six infusions only. Hard to say which snake bites you harder. But when one bites you tend to remember it and its effects, maybe forever. Time in a way gets reset. You may experience re-birth – whether you realize and are aware of it, or not. I knkow I did; I have. I certainly am not at forever yet.
Like I said, just 10weeks out from the end of that six-week regimen, Dec 5, 2016 thru Jan 18, 2017. Further stats and facts: HPV “Human papilloma virus” base-of-tongue stage 3-4 carcinoma enters the body on a fluid or some other way. It has been associated with sexual activity. It infects many who never know of its existence. It lies dormant for years or decades and on the spin of a roulette wheel somewhere it will pop up in you.
Then you’re in for a roller coast ride not of your choosing. Yet the great irony is you do volunteer for the medical treatment. C/R is the normal course of affairs in the world of “C.” I chose to submit my body and throat to these duo treatments, as lethal as they are. Everybody knows what metastases is, and what its prevalence will lead to when a malignancy is left unattended.
I made a series of choices to manage and maneuver my heart, soul and body and the”Uninvited Guest”through this new territory to his demise, exit, departure, extrication, eradication – call it what you will. My “uninvited guest” was in my throat; often in women it presents at the cervix. The good news is that by the book of diagnostics and outcomes it is officially 93-97% curable, on the standard protocol of C/R treatment, the likes of which I received. Only I received mine on a Research Study basis wherein the dosages of cysplatin and radiation were reduced by 1/3 and 60 therms respectively.
The entire episode was less than magnifying of my cheerfulness.
I joked at three weeks out it was like entering an underground tunnel. I joked that I’d timed it just right for the winter and the by-passing of the December and New Year holidays. Pretty much. Now it’s Spring, March and April and flowers are budding, trees are sapping, lawns are weeding, and.. so am I. The ravages is what they are called when one refers to Winter’s sometimes bitter effects, the dark or shadowy effects of little light, cheer and play.
Among many things that take on or bring one new definitions or just new way to define values, this is a prime one. I had graduated so much in the l prior six or seven years anyway. This way of being had several demands and opportunities of its own. For me to say what I learned, how I managed it, what my story is and entails. We shall see. Here.