Mine is today. The number doesn’t matter.
A friend reminded me yesterday I might treat my “arrival anniversary” as a New Years Day – a day to reflect and make plans, goals, resolutions for the year to come. So I resolve to nurture and love my Inner Child with greater care and understanding of His fears and pains out of which He too often projects frustration and anger to be heard over the raucousnes or slings and arrows that have befallen Him in the past. Hurts that hurt the one-time Innocence in me that left me feeling the Victim of an Other’s disdain, disinterest or impatience toward me, the kind of expectations put on a Child that he cannot fulfill because they are quite simply beyond his abilities emotionally or rationally to comprehend. And leave him defenseless.
So as an adult I will relieve Him of those goals and burdens. Thence His anger and frustration, His cries for mercy and justice will be stopped, mitigated, dissolved over time, denied. Take away the action; take away the reaction. I will nurture Him by protecting, shielding Him from those mis-beliefs, mis-understandings, misguided rage toward the beasts that bite and seek to devour Him. I will not let Him self-hate or self-berate if he ever blames or shames or judges Himself for the Bad that makes Him doubt His Goodness, His hope and faith that the world is a good place that does welcome His presence, His gifts, his purpose to be loved, loving and to love others, and “make the world a better place.”
Towards any of the animals that threaten to bite him I will be His defense. I will cover Him like a shield from the fears in him that produce abject terror in Him. My Adult will be vigilant and fierce so that He will learn safety, compassion, care, deserving, freedom to play and create from his heart and his Imagination all that he will. The year ahead then can bring Him growth, not stunting, worth in what he knows He can do, can accomplish because His gifts are there also any day to employ and share for his profit and happiness, his emotional growth and appreciation of Goodness, Truth and Beauty in the world. I will guide Him this way as I would not just my own children but all children.
It is the birthright of all children, even if we know the world and all its communities are made of we frail humans who so often hide our fears behind the mask of social conventions that insist that we be “nice” while our shadows run free in our internal backyards, sometimes, at worse, like lost, hungry, suspicious and dangerous canines. No, those “dogs” are the children left alone, abandoned like no one should be, with no other resources left to them but their claws to brace upon and their teeth to snarl at the real or perceived threats they feel are all around them.
Instead this year I am to remind them, we are born into family and family is our higher calling from birth. That is why a Birth Day reminds us to recognize our birthrights, to celebrate, not to lament. They are simply awaiting an Adult to channel their energy away from being a pack with no leader. Each one I see as a waif in search of a friend, a child in the woods separated for just brief moments from His Parent. He is a single raw emotion or thought fallen out of the hearts center where peace and comfort next him day or night. So unexpected is His brief falling off the path he just shared that a bit of panic grips him. But in each such confused and naked babe I know of the innate desire to belong and be joined with caring others because I know His Heart’s true and real nature. It is mine the same. My Adult cares for, nurtures and protects the Child because He is Me, as is each real child the extended ongoing same life as his Parents.
My Child is for me to grow. He is mine alone; no one else can do for Him what my Adult can. I will take away from Him the idea that He is alone and without defense. I will see Him grow to claim His strengths and leave His fears and His mistaken boxing with shadows behind. Such is my gift in the tradition of Birthday recognition, resolutions, and celebration.
My coaching and counseling and my consulting skills and trained talents also are active out of this same motivation. I do for Others what I do for myself.